The Ego gets a bad rep We hear it all the time, especially in new age communities and through spiritual teachers. Ditch the ego. It’s the cause of all your suffering.
But what is the ego really? For something that defines our true identities, it’s a rather abstract concept. I’ve noticed that the ego has taken on two different meanings in society today. One is bad, I think this is the one we are most familiar with. Think about it, when I say ego, what is your reaction? If I had to guess, one that correlates with selfishness. Maybe even narcissism comes to mind. Eww.
We’ve all probably experienced someone with an inflated sense of self. And we think, “Wow, I’m so glad I’m not like that!” But you see there. That’s your ego speaking. The ego is the “I”. It’s a sneaky thing.
Ego, in true objective psychological terms, is just our identity what makes me me and you you.
The ego is why we are all different, why we have different desires, opinions, preferences, and reactions. My ego makes me Danielle. My ego is what defines my love & interest in volleyball, whereas maybe you’re not really a sports person. I have a sense of self because I have an ego. Here we can see the challenge in the abstraction involved in this word. It’s layered. It’s complex. It takes on a different form in all of us. So we have to hold it a bit loosely. On that note, how much time have you spent thinking about your own ego? Are you aware of it? Being aware of our own ego is truly self-awareness.
In terms of Astrology, the core of our ego is the Sun, our Sun sign. And just as everything else in the solar system revolves around the Sun, everything in our lives naturally revolves around the self, our identity. It’s easy to understand how this can be slippery slope into narcissism if one lacks awareness, which is why the ego has taken on a bad reputation.
In reality, we NEED the ego If we didn’t have the ego, our own sense of self and identity, would anything really matter? If you let go of all of your desires, opinions, beliefs, preferences, and reactions (and so much more that defines you), what would you stand for? Would you be anyone? What motivation would you have to do anything with your life at all?
Sure, maybe you’d extricate all the suffering in your life—like getting your feelings hurt when someone doesn’t agree with you (guilty as charged )—but you wouldn’t stand for anything. You’d be like a ghost and life would be like a dream that would pass by in an incoherent haze.
Did it even really happen? Did you experience anything at all? You wouldn’t be you.
And in this other ghostly end of the spectrum, I’m referencing Neptune’s presence in the natal chart. Neptune, god of the sea, represents complete and total unity and mergence with all, where the individual doesn’t matter. Neptune transcends the ego, and is about universal love, at it's highest expression. There's no judgement at this level, well, because what is there to judge? Everything is everything and nothing is nothing.
A good way to think about Neptune is zooming out your perspective way far out, like let’s imagine we are looking at our entire galaxy If we zoom out far enough, each and every one of us is merely a speck of dust on the speck of dust we call Earth And we will only ever be here for a blink of an eye, but our lives are pretty short lived in comparison to the grand total of all that is out there.
Do you think the traffic jam you’re stuck in, and the frustration you feel as a result, matters much at this level? Do you think paying your taxes matters as this level? Do you like your wedding day matters at this level? No. That’s Neptune. It’s the recognition of the vastness that is our reality. Nothing really matters at that level. Kind of depressing, but also awe-inspiring.
And true. That way zoomed-out place exists all the time
We just forget it exists. We get caught up in our own worlds, our ego worlds, and the big picture is lost
But losing ourselves in the vast sea that is Neptune is also a slippery slope (pun intended) We can’t just say, “Welp, it doesn't matter if I pay my taxes. It doesn't matter if I go to work today. Why even fall in love?"
That’s not a good life for any human, and not the way we were created. We were created with an Ego for a reason, to like some things and not like other things for a reason. The Sun is the center of our Solar System for a reason.
Neptune is the last gas giant that orbits our solar system. In the natal chart, this represents the edge of what we know as ourselves (minus little Pluto, but that’s for another email). Neptune is as far out as we can get from the Sun in terms of our Solar System, and this translates to the parts of us that are as far out from our Ego as we can get.
Neptune is our spiritual selves, still a part of us, yet it doesn’t play by the same rules as the Sun, our ego.
We are constantly walking on a tightrope between the Sun and Neptune, between being completely immersed in our Ego to being completely detached from our individuality and immersed in Source energy. Superficially this sounds nice, but having no Ego can be just as harmful as being full of it society just doesn't push that message. You want to accomplish anything in your life? You have to have ego my friend, and it's about cultivating a healthy one.
Like so many things in life, it's a balance. This tightrope walk requires knowing who you are and what you stand for while also being able to let things go and see beyond your own experience to the great vastness of the Universe.
You are so important and yet not important at all. How beautiful. These life paradoxes are funny, aren’t they? And rather challenging for our logical minds to embrace. They create what’s called cognitive dissonance Our brains look to rectify two seemingly contradictory concepts by changing or distorting the information to match what we want to believe and what we know to be true of our ego-centric worlds. Denial is a good example of how we do this, but I won't go into too much in depth on this psychological concept here (again, another email).
Most (if not all) people believe in their own importance, and I support that, until our own importance becomes too important and causes us—or others—suffering. Then, it can feel really really good to admit to ourselves (and remember) how small we are, that certain things really don’t matter, or they don’t have to. In Neptune's eyes, we are all the same and equal. Our egos don't always see it that way.
The heaviness of our lives is something we create ourselves by over-inflating their significance, or by over-inflating our significance. And I don’t mean that as an insult. I am so guilty of it I have wasted so much energy thinking about something I said in a single conversation to someone, wondering what they think of me, wondering if they hate me. So much energy Do you think that energy was well spent? Who can relate?
This is the invite from Neptune.
If you feel the heaviness in life because things feel so important and there’s so much weight on your shoulders, perhaps zoom out and remember, are you really the one who is here to solve all the problems? Are you going to save the world? Be the first person ever in history that everyone likes? No. And thank goodness. Or should I say thank Neptune!
You are but one of billions that will be here for a blink of an eye, and sometimes it feels really good to remember this truth. Just look up at the stars one night—a practice that has sadly diminished—and remember just how much more is out there. We can't even comprehend 🤯
Then take a gaze inside and ponder the same thing. How much is in there? We all spend our entire lives discovering who we truly are.
These are the kinds of things I talk about in my coaching work, with your natal chart as the guide. What does the Sun position say about your core sense of self? What does Neptune say about your window into the vast Universe? About your connection to Spirit? And how are you doing on this tightrope dance? I help the soul-searchers and spiritual-seekers in this journey of knowing the self.
Want to know where Neptune falls in your chart and how this information applies to you? You can purchase a 10-15min personal recording of my professional interpretation for $20 👇